I dreamed about him last night. It's been almost a year since I've seen him. I'll be sixteen in almost a month.

I'll have been moved in with Shion a week before my birthday. He's the only one that can teach me what I need to know. Plus, I'm mostly done with my academic schooling.

I need a cigarette. I can't tell grandmother that I'm still smoking. I only manage to get about one or two a week. If only I dared to write down in here what I do for a cigarette. Alas, I'm going to the park. To our bench. To smoke my last cigarette of the day.

I'll pray that he'll show up. But he never does.

I met another boy kinda like me today.

It was cool. I was shopping for coats with this really old, ancient lady. Some lady from the foster center. That was all they told me. We were buying clothes... I was looking at coats... and I saw this green-haired boy. He was complaining about how none of the coats look good. So... I said something to him.

We seemed to get along. I thought I was going to cry in front of him though. We met at the park for a very brief moment. He had business stuff to do.

I wonder if I'll have anything that important to do. I don't even have to go to school right now. Weird, isn't it?

Oh well... I need to finish up the last of my cigarettes. The old lady says I'm not allowed to smoke anymore... 'cause I'm not old enough. I can't wait to turn eighteen. I wonder if I'll survive that long. I've got... four years to go. Here's to hopin'.

My house burnt to the ground yesterday.

My sister is in a coma.

My parents are dead.

So am I, according to the local paper.

I'm in so-called 'training' now. A group named 'Kritiker' picked me up. Said I could get revenge if they trained me.

I'm looking forward to killing that man.